Tuesday, 22 May 2012

....that's SO gay!

think pink!


If I hear "That's SO gay!" one more time, I'm going to explode like a hot pink can of cherry pop that's been shaken and thrown in a prop propelled Susan Stroman inspired group jazz extravaganza purposely choreographed to travel the length of Sydney's flamboyant Oxford Street for the annual parade d'extravaganza Mardi Gras in celebration of all things different (but equal) and performed by woman who love women, men who love men and people who just love people equally (well let's be honest, perhaps some of those men 'explode' over other men too.... just as frantically as that can of cherry pop after being shaken and thrown around for whole duration of that long parade route!).

or do I mean 'root'?

To reiterate what you're already thinking and keep things honest, the sentence above is just a touch melodramatic.... but so am I. 

However, the phrase 'that's SO gay!' is being misused on a scale that is far greater than the misuse of women's accessibly priced sequin high street jackets worn by men at fashion week.

Here is the source of my problem:

On Monday night Charlotte Dawson and I threw on some forward trending attire and headed on down to the Fox backlot for the live recording of Ch9's The Voice.

Note to self: swing set at Fox studios doesn't allow stilettos.  What the hell will I wear if I ever choose to use the slippery slide?

After pre drinks in the 'I Paid for the Show' or 'I'm Famous' or 'I Know Famous People' or 'I Know People who Paid For The Show' SPECIAL marquee we headed on down to the studio and took our seats.

I'm friends with some pretty high profile people and some gosh damn powerful people and may have been on TV once or twice myself so am 99.99% lucky enough to always secure any 'special' area or seat (I hate the word 'VIP Area', just because we recognise a stranger doesn't make them 'very important' and I reckon some of the most important people in the whole world are too busy making a difference where it really counts to go to multiple parties per week and pose for multiple photos of themselves.... with themselves).

Anyway.....

The two seats next to me in the 'VIP Area' (groan) were unattended just before filming started so two 'General Admission' standing room only ladies were sat there to ensure no empty seats were shown on camera.  Considering the seat God had initially decided they weren't even worthy of having somewhere to place their lard arses and had now miraculously changed his mind to title them VERY IMPORTANT people and thus should rest their weary legs by gifting them thrones amongst other VERY IMPORTANT people where they can actually SEE what they had lined up for 5 hours to see, you'd think they would be happy!

but THIS is what I heard:

Girl 1 "my phone's running out of battery"
Girl 2 "that's SO gay!"

Now as a raving homo it wouldn't be incorrect if you referred to ME as gay.  And since I actually AM gay, there is NO ONE else in the entire universe MORE of an EXPERT on being GAY than ME!  Cause GAY means.... ME!

Me being gay (pink on blue)
Me on my skateboard not really being gay, but STILL being SO gay!


In the olden days, gay also meant gleeful, happy, cheery, vivacious, joyful and playful so it didn't bother me when I initially discover the term was being used to describe my lifestyle choices.  However with our ever increasing reliance on our iPhone to ensure our ongoing contact to the outside world via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and also all those other applications I apparently NEED to be current, I couldn't for the life of me work out how her iPhone dying could make her feel vivacious!

Usually I incorrectly think I know everything, but in this circumstance I had to go out on a limb and asked the seat filler with the lard arse so clearly made to fill a seat "what do you mean by that?"

Girl 2 "means it's crap"

Gay means CRAP?  I am crap?  My lifestyle is crap?  The umbrella term used to describe me ALSO means crap?

An example of my crap lifestyle
No.  No it doesn't.

For once and for all I'd like to clear this up.  To all of those people using the term 'that's SO gay!' in an urban dialogue to describe something that sucks (sucks.... incorrect choice of words?) I mean to describe something that's bad.... please stop.

Please stop NOW.

(was going to include a picture of me sucking.... but didn't!)

It actually doesn't offend me personally because I have an overinflated opinion of myself and am lucky enough to feel confident and strong in life in general and more often than not, the use of my over accentuated hips in my walk could best be described as 'that's SO gay!'  

However I don't want those still discovering and possibly less accepting of themselves than I to believe the term and title given to them to describe a part of their being (directly aligned to their pursuit of love, relationship, union, commitment and equal partnership) to also be used in an urban dialogue referring to something bad.

Sex is NOT bad (if you know what I mean).

If you are stupid enough to think 'gay' can also mean 'bad' then below is some examples of the correct use of the phrase 'that is SO gay!' (I've kindly used picture examples.... just in case you are uneducated in other areas and also can't read):

Calling your Hermes towel a 'maxi infinity headress' and doing a photo shoot wearing it by your pool
"that's SO gay!"

Driving over the Harbour Bridge in head to toe sequin to make someone happy
"that's SO gay!"
Playing dress ups EVERY time you visit Al at the Alex Perry head office
"that's SO gay!"
WEaring Dolce&Gabbana fur to visit a recycling dump
"that's SO gay"
Your LV bather closely resembles a shoe string bikini
"that's SO gay!"
Entering to host a black tie gala on a ride on mower
"that's SO gay!"
Driving for so long looking for the Artisian baths you think you've made it to the Eiffel Tower
"that's SO gay Paree!"

Doing a photo shoot AT Artisian baths with the Russian tourist who made her own hat and bag out recycled plastic shopping bags
"that's SO gay!"

Now let's all go and be SO gay!

A x

46 comments:

  1. Comment - testing testing, mic 1, 2.. is this thing on !?!?!?!

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  2. woohoo it worked ! "thats so gay"

    .. because gay means fecking amazeballs!!! in every sense.

    Love your take on life, no bullshit, bull by horns.. like it or lump it! I gte told I am a DIVA more often that not.. and by DIVA I can only assume they mean.. Stand up for myself, take no shit from no one... and i welcome the title!!!

    You are lovely and refreshing my dear

    Meagan xx

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  3. I know you are already probably Charllotte's Gusband but can you also please be mine???

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    Replies
    1. Set the date Katie, I'll be there! We can both wear white, Dawes won't mind.... she's all for breaking the rules! Threesome x

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  4. Love this post and good on you for speaking to ignorant seat filler.Like you said you are comfortable with who you are but for those who maybe struggling,hearing gay used that way can make them feel even more uncomfortable.We need to be making life easier for them not more difficult.Keep up the good work on spreading the good words and getting rid of the negatives.xx

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  5. Thank you for the love Debyl1. With just that bit more love, understanding and acceptance in this world, it would definitely be a happier place for all, especially those struggling. x

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  6. Amen to that Adam!

    My two teenagers throw that saying around all the time and I'm constantly at them. I actually challenged my son about it recently, asking him what it meant - and like your experience he told me it meant crap - needless to say,I said, no, it doesn't. It's a word used to describe homosexuality, but it actually means *insert here all your great descriptions*

    Another one that is really pissing me off is this "I so raped you" used when playing a game (like COD etc). I went off - "like a hot pink can of cherry pop that's been shaken" and then some. NOT OK!

    Love your style... and your six pack :)

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    Replies
    1. I haven't heard 'I so raped you' yet. I agree - it's not ok!

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    2. "I so raped you" ?! WOW. If feel like a can of cherry pop, heaven only knows what an actual rape victim makes of that throw away comment. Extraordinary what is coming out of kids mouths these days (i feel SO old right now!). Thank you for reading Vicky and Retrogoddess x

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    3. hence why I was pretty ropable... felt it as a mum, felt it as a victim.

      And don't worry Adam, you're not the only feeling so old right now!

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  7. I swear it's so offensive and I cringe everytime I hear it.
    Great blog, keep up the good work gorgeous!
    Elle

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  8. Bless ya heart Adam, love your line about "important people being too busy, making a difference". I hope it's not too long before people start realizing no one has the right to judge anyone else. Also, LOVE your gorgeous photos!

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  9. Love your blog Adam.
    The last photo is intriguing!

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    1. Moree Artisian baths. Russian tourists in abundance sit in these waters all day everyday. Apparent magic healing properties for arthrisis etc. She made her own hat and bag out of plastic shopping bags..... So obviously just HAD to do a photo shoot with her! x

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  10. I really did laugh out loud. Not the ROFL but more baby popped off breast while feeding that I laughed out loud so hard.

    Great work. Keep it up. In every sense of the word!

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    Replies
    1. 'keep it up'..... Digella you cheeky thing! x

      I'm loving that your breast made a cameo in my blog. HOT x

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  11. Well done Adam. My 8 year old son has been using this expression, and like Vicky I correct it all the time. I mean my son has been to so many gay wedding/commitment ceremonies, he doesn't know straight people get married. How did this happen?

    The photos are fabulous by the way, but you don't need me to tell you that!

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    Replies
    1. Cause he hears it EVERYWHERE..... for years now. Crazy huh! x

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  12. How SO delightfully gay. (Not even a LITTLE bit crap).

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  13. well here is a wee voice from a gen x suburban mum who thought it means 'fab, wonderful, colourful and delightful' ... and if I make a hat from plastic bags may I please have a pic with you too :) le xox

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    Replies
    1. you don't even need to make the hat, we just need to cross paths x

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  14. I'm sorry did you say something? I can't remember because the sight of your body made my mind wipe everything ekes out. Jesus wept I wish I was SO GAY and male and in bed with you *picking jaw up from floor

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    Replies
    1. *else. Now I can't spell

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    2. Don't drop your draw Meggsie, we might need it when we frolic in the hay x

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  15. I didn't realise you had a blog - I really need to cyber surf more. Good post. Have to say I was mesmerised by the photos.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Ms RR, today my blog turns three days old, so I forgive you for not knowing of it's existence since she's just a baby. Hope you're well. A x

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  16. Wow! I heard people say it but never gave thought as to what it meant - what a dumb expression!! So many words in the English language & they use that?? Obviously our education system is failing! Great blog by the way - very funny & I love your use of pictures - they are worth a thousand words. I see Moree baths haven't changed, a bit like the ones at Lightning Ridge - full of older, amply proportioned Russian ladies & gents... how do they hear about these outback places??

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    Replies
    1. OMG Nic the Moree baths have just been TOTALLY renovated and now resemble an olympic pool identical to ones found in EVERY town. A shame really, lost some of the 'magic'. And you're right.... how do they hear about them? Thank you for reading

      A x

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  17. Very Very enjoyable post.. I look forward to reading many more. Thanks for adding a smile to my day.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Graysyn, hope you've also enjoyed the latest 'my 6 inches' x

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  18. Mrs Woog sent me over. I am glad she did. The lady has class. As do you.

    I don't get it. Why use that term? In the ame way them younuns use the term "I am going to verse them?" WTF does that mean!! I will tell you.

    It means if these phrases are part of your venacular, you are a dickhead.

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    Replies
    1. I am going to verse them? WTF? x

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  19. Replies
    1. One that gets on my nerves which I think is a new one the kids are bandin' around these days... LMAO I SAID KIDS LIKE IM OLD, Is "Gay as aids" That totally shits me to tears.

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    2. You're a bloody champ too BTW! Mwah!

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  20. Sent by Mrs Woog...*sigh* right now wishing my life was just a little bit more gay. Will be hoping your blog can add some much needed vicarious gayness to my mundane suburban existence.

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  21. You're so gay, it's fabulous! As big gay al so eloquently put it, 'gay means happy and happy means gay!'
    I thoroughly enjoyed this post! xx

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    Replies
    1. Frances, from the gay who put the A in gAy.... YOU'RE so gay! Love A x

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